a salute to Wesley Willis (1967-2003)

If Wesley Willis were here with us today, I'm sure he would have much to say about Beyonce, the war in Iraq and McGriddles. Since his death on August 21, 2003, our generation has yet to find a troubadour worthy of Wes' musical genius. Whether singing about the mundane (Northwest Airlines) or the fantastic (freakout hell bus), Wes always brought his unique sensitivities to the recording studio. His lyrics seemed to come alive against the subtle harmonies of his Casio keyboard: when he sang about about the chikken cow, I felt as though my own brother had been stabbed in the ass after venturing into the cold. Wes sang with a quiet dignity rarely associated with someone of his youth. A southern poet once described Wes as bearing a "determined resignation" more appropriate for a certain Confederate general than a 300-pound homeless schizophrenic retarded man. It was his numerous and bizarre handicaps that made Wes' message both universal and hellishly prophetic.

Wes wouldn't have wanted us to sit around and morn his death. He would have wanted us to rap about the things we love, like Rock 'N Roll McDonalds or the Vampire Bat, or things that make us sad, like Kris Kringle being a car thief. Below is a tribune to Wes, an annual songwriting exercise intended to honor his legend by lovingly copying the musical formula he so daringly pioneered:

Jessica Simpson

Jessica Simpson
Jessica Simpson
Jessica Simpson is on TV
She looks good in numerous ways
She is fun and not shy about her feelings
Jessica Simpson
Jessica Simpson
Jessica Simpson
Jessica Simpson is hot like a beast
She really has it going on
She can really belt out tunes

[musical interlude - spend the next four minutes imagining Wes ripping up one smokin' keyboard solo]

Jessica Simpson
Jessica Simpson
Jessica Simpson

[another muscial interlude four minutes in length]

You are considered the bomb
People are impressed by your brains
People also know that you are sweet without a doubt

Jessica Simpson
Jessica Simpson
Jessica Simpson

Rock over London,
Rock on Chicago,
Polaroid - see what develops